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Stop Bullying Yourself

Consistency is, above all things, a reward we give ourselves.

Eating healthy, consistently, is a reward to the body. The interpretation you give each motive will, over years and years, manifest into the status you are currently in. The motive to eat is basic and universal. This makes food a more tangible representation of how this works.

For example, eating McDonalds can be considered a “reward”. This interpretation of the motive to eat will result, over years and years, in the development and status of someone’s physical condition. The result may be, over time, that diabetes occurs. This occurrence is not certain, but likely. We use history to determine the likelihood that consistency in a particular department will have a certain result. The history of eating unhealthy has shown results. The interpretation we give to “unhealthy” or “healthy” determines our status and willingness to settle in a particular condition of eating.

The discussions that transpire between those who believe junk food is a reward and those who believe it is a punishment will show the disparity between character and aesthetics. Even still, the morality of eating one way or another is difficult to gauge. Medical evidence alone is not enough to place, on the “moral scale”, the level of “evil” associated with eating Cheetos once per week instead of twice. And it is impossible to judge man’s character by how often he drinks Coca Cola. It is another matter to determine how frequently we choose to spend time with those who give symbols of food the meaning of “reward” or “punishment”. To see how true this is, consider spending more time with those who interpret healthy food as a reward, and it will change your eating habits. If you’re un-attracted to those type of people, it is simplify a clash of interpretation. Needless to say, spending time with people of one interpretation¬† will influence the physical choices of yours.

Take this to the opposite extreme. Imagine that eating healthy is considered the reward. This interpretation, over years and years, will result in the status of a healthy mind and body. Either condition is correct. That we place health on a pedestal is simply a reflection of how we’ve interpreted food in its relation to the body. Each interpretations leads to a final result. The consistency of one interpretation leads to thousands of actions, thousands of choices. Years later, someone is “where they are” because of thousands upon thousands of choices made.

If the body is requesting your help for nourishment and exercise, and if you do nothing to answer its call, then you’re being cruel to yourself. And if you are cruel to yourself, you will teach others to treat you accordingly, and you won’t even know it.

If your mind is requesting educational nourishment, begging for reading or study, but instead you give it a concoction of television, video games, and vapid social media, then you are being cruel to yourself.


In each moment where nothing apprehended us from rewarding ourselves with such nourishment , we did ourselves in through every minute of valuable time wasted on stagnation. Yet at the same time, while in the midst of our friends, we hold of them the expectation to treat us with benevolence, as if our personality – just as it is, with no effort for improvement – is suitable for amicable interactions. Perhaps love doesn’t require the improvement of character, but to believe that co-workers and friends must provide unconditional respect is delusional. In life, only a handful of people will truly love you. But respect is earned, and too often the fallacy is that we believe it shouldn’t be.

True respect comes from those who respect your expertise. They do not respect “you”. They respect your expertise. Expertise takes work. It takes accolades. Because of the difficulty of attaining real expertise, many people seek the loophole of requesting automatic respect without expertise. This type of fulfillment requires we spend time with others who lack expertise. Almost always, those people have time for it.

Emotional sensitivity tends to be outwardly displayed (and overflowing) by those who take no time to develop expertise. During the time wasted on superficial activity, (rather than intellectual growth or mastery of a skill), they expect to be treated with the same level of respect as professionals. In their frustration they seek to correct each individual who is not respecting them, irrespective of their own intellectual deficiency. They wallow in the sorry of their feelings, and meanwhile, they are still incapable of, let’s say, Algebra, because they refuse to reward themselves with study. While they refuse to reward themselves, they expect the emotional reward that comes from interactions with friends. Each individual who interacts with them, and who doesn’t treat them delicately, will be interpreted as “bully”, “jerk” or other synonym for “those who treat me poorly”. Developing your expertise is the key to eliminating your concern for all of them. This epiphany comes with the realization that you have been the worst bully of all. . . to yourself.

A bully will not care for your expertise. Those who do not care for your expertise will instead look to celebrate your weakness, and in the privacy of their minds they will enjoy every small failure you experience. Your expertise, on the other hand, is what will attract the right network around you. Your expertise will come from the diligence of your focus and intention, and you’ll be rewarded in public for what you’ve practiced in private. The bullies will always exist, but you’ll have eliminated them because of your interpretations.

Thus, the first – and only – bully to overcome is not the friend who has teased you or the friend who is incapable of seeing your “worth”. If you track every minute of how you spend your time, you can see just how much of a bully you have been to yourself. You are the bully who has withheld jogging, reading, studying and working on your personal goals when you knew to do them.

The first bully to overcome is you against yourself. To feel sorry, and then to continue depriving yourself of the intellectual nourishment of your expertise is akin to giving a high-five to the bully that forced you into¬† “wasting time”.

Change your intentions and stop bullying yourself. Reward yourself instead.

Now get to work and focus.

You have good people waiting for your expertise.

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